I now have opinions on Superman and Wonder Woman!

I finally got around to reading the previews of the J. Michael Straczynski arcs that appeared in the 700 and 600 issues and were released on the iPod for free. And now that I have actually read part of the story I feel that I can have an opinion!

We’ll start with Wonder Woman. I still don’t like the very idea of this story happening, but the prologue didn’t make me any more upset about it. I still think her branding bracelets are stupid, but the Oracle was a pretty cool character (not to be confused with the Barbara Gordon Oracle). I still don’t understand how this story fits in with the rest of the DCU and I’m to the point of assuming that it doesn’t. It wasn’t terrible, but it didn’t make me want to run to the comic book shop and pick up the rest of the arc (and this has nothing to do with how far away the nearest comic shop is). It didn’t even really make me want to read the trade when it comes out. It was just kind of a forgettable story. I’ll admit that I’ve never been a huge Wonder Woman fan to begin with, but this story didn’t change that for me. All in all it was rather meh. And that’s actually an improvement for my opinion about the book.

Then there was Superman. Oh, god, that was painful. The whole set up of this story doesn’t make any sense and it proceeds to make less sense the more I think about it.

So the whole story is set in motion when a woman slaps Superman, insults him, and then bitches because he wasn’t around to CURE HER HUSBAND’S BRAIN CANCER. I really wish I was making that up or exaggerating somehow. She cries about how she tried so hard to contact him but he was off in space doing “something important.” And now she’ll never see her husband again because he wasn’t there.

First of all, I think it’s a terrible idea to even suggest that your superheroes can cure real life medical issues. If superheroes can make it all go away it cheapens the problem somewhat. This is why a lot of superheroes didn’t go to World War II, because they didn’t want to cheapen the sacrifice of the soldiers who were fighting and dying over there. This is also why Reed Richards must spend all of his time thwarting Dr. Doom and not, say, curing AIDS.

Secondly, the way she wanted Superman to cure this guy seems kinda strange to me. She wanted him to use his x-ray vision to find the tumor and then use his heat vision to basically laser scalpel it out. She claimed that the doctors said that it was “inoperable” but that it wouldn’t have been for him. You know, because Superman is so well known for his vast medical knowledge… Wait, what? That’s pretty precise use of the heat vision. And speaking of, his vision is HEAT not magic atomizing rays. Sure he can melt metal together and can cause a world of hurt to super villains, but I’m not sure that it’s a practical tool medically speaking. Even if he could somehow laser out the tumor, he would still have to get to the tumor, and “inoperable brain tumor” usually means that you simply can’t do that. Sure he could see the tumor, but his heat vision can’t destroy a tumor INSIDE the guy’s brain without cutting through the guy’s brain (which is something I think we generally like to avoid). So it would seem to me that this lady had insane expectations of Superman and that he wouldn’t have been able to help her even if he had been around. In which case it doesn’t really make sense for him to feel guilty about it.

But let’s assume I’m wrong about that (for shiggles). Let’s assume she’s a genius and has discovered a great medical use for Superman’s powers that no one has ever thought of before. And she can’t get a hold of Superman. How tragic! It’s not like there are any other heroes on Earth who have the exact same power set as Superman. It’s not like there is a family of Super characters who should be well known to anyone who lives in the DCU. Like a Supergirl. To be fair, she was on and off of New Krypton for a while, so maybe she wasn’t in Metropolis when the lady was looking for Superman (although I would have to assume that she only looked for like one day and then sat and cried about it), and Supergirl has gotten a bit of bad publicity lately, so maybe she didn’t want her. (WAIT A SECOND! One of the things Supergirl got slammed for in the media was assuring a boy that she would save him when he was dying of cancer. Clearly she couldn’t so this just adds further support to the idea that this could NOT be done.) There’s Superboy. To be fair with him, his heat vision is the last power he got to work and I’m not sure he has complete control over it yet, so maybe he’s not the best choice. Plus he’s hiding out in Smallville and might not have been easy to contact. But then there is Mon-El. And I don’t have to be fair here, because there is no reason why she couldn’t have contacted him. He was in Metropolis. He has all the powers of Superman. He probably wouldn’t have even been that difficult to get a hold of. And let’s not forget about Powergirl. She’s alternate universe Supergirl so she’s got all the powers. She also managed to be completely untouched by the New Krypton drama, so she would have been a great choice to approach about this problem.

And while we’re looking at other DCU heroes let’s not forget that the Justice League has at least two doctors that this lady could have gone to as well. Either Doc Midnight or Dr. Light probably would have been better choices than Superman since, you know, they have all that medical training and experience. And if Superman’s powers were the ONLY solution I’m sure they would have an easier time getting a hold of him (or any of those other characters I mentioned with the same powers) than anyone else on the planet.

I’m left with only one conclusion to make here. This woman didn’t really try all that hard to save her husband’s life. I didn’t even have to think very hard to come up with the list above, and giving it some more thought I could probably come up with a few more heroes who would have been just as good if not better than Superman in this situation (perhaps the Atom or Soranik Natu). So clearly she didn’t give it any amount of thought whatsoever. And now she is blaming Superman for something he probably couldn’t even have helped her with. Superman shouldn’t be sulking about this. He should be pissed that people are now expecting him to be Dr. Superman on top of all the other crap he’s going through (like dealing with the genocide of his people by the government).

I get that the writer wanted something to make Superman take a step back and say, “Golly, have I lost touch with the people and the needs of my adoptive home?” But this was one of the worst ways he could have gone about it. I would have been more on board with this idea if the lady had hated him because a Kryptonian had killed her husband or if he had been hit by falling debris from New Krypton. Either of those things can at least loosely be blamed on Superman. It’s still a stretch, but a more believable one for a grieving person to make. But maybe he wanted to go for the whole “You weren’t here” angle more than the “It’s your fault” angle. Okay. Well, how about if her husband was killed in Metropolis by a super villain while Supes was away. Or even in something more “normal” like a car wreck or a fire. Since Metropolis is Superman’s city it is not too farfetched to see how a person could wonder if their loved one might have been saved if Superman had been planet side doing the things he normally does. Sure he can’t be everywhere, but those are places you would expect Superman to be on a normal day in the DCU. THAT would be something I think Superman could realistically be expected to feel guilty for. I admit that it still wouldn’t make a lot of sense in the story since it wouldn’t really explain why he is walking AWAY from Metropolis, and if he’s being blamed for something that didn’t happen in Metropolis the question arises about all of the other heroes in the DCU and why we’re not blaming them.

The last couple panels of the preview have a couple of kids who see Superman land in a park and start walking. They marvel at how he is walking at not flying (because I guess that’s never, ever happened before) and wonder where he is going and why. One boy comments, “Whatever it is, it must be important.” Bullshit! If it was important or dire in any way I assume he would be using super speed to get there. There is no reason to think that Superman moving at normal person speed is due to anything important at all. In fact, if I saw Superman strolling down the street I would have to assume that it was the slowest day ever and that there was absolutely nothing to command his attention at that moment.

There’s another thing that really bothers me. While Supes is strolling across the country his Super Hearing is going to be picking up all kinds of things, most notably people in danger or dying. But since Supes is set on staying grounded to “reconnect” he’s going to ignore all of those people in peril. Thanks Superman, but given the choice between you connecting with me and saving my life, I’ll take the later thank you. That’s kind of your job description. If you really want to “connect” try checking in on the people you save after the fact. Make sure they are okay and that their families are okay. Talk to them for a few minutes before you have to run off to the next disaster.

I’ve heard that Superman is going to be facing the “real problems” that Americans are dealing with right now. Why would I want to read a comic book that reminds me that the economy sucks and all of the other problems we are all dealing with? And worse, why would I want to read about Superman not being able to make it all better. I assume Superman isn’t going to sweep in and solve unemployment or some other crisis. So that means, as a reader I am left thinking, “Wow, even a superhero can’t fix our problems. We’re all doomed!” Maybe if he was working to help fix the problems (or even just raise awareness of them) as Clark Kent and making very small dents in the problem as a man and not as Superman I would feel better about things. I could say, “Wow, look at that. Superman can’t do it, but Clark Kent can. We can all be like Clark Kent and work hard to solve our own problems. I feel all hopeful now.” However this wanders dangerously close to PSA territory so there is that to consider as well. I understand that the desire was probably to tell a story that was “relevant” to readers. But the problem is that you are assuming that all of your readers have the same problems (and that you know what they are,) and you are likely seriously dating your story in the process. Not to mention alienating everyone who isn’t in America.

Also, why aren’t the super villains tearing Metropolis up right now? I know that a few are just hell bent on destroying Superman, so they would have no need to attack Metropolis when Supes is very publically not there. But there are a lot of criminals who have targeted Metropolis for other reasons in the past, and I just don’t get why the city would be perfectly safe without Superman for an extended period of time. This time he doesn’t even have Mon-El there as backup and even Supergirl is currently off world. If I lived in Metropolis I would be really pissed at Superman right about now.

This preview cemented my dislike for this premise and this story. I have no desire to pick it up in any form. I hope that it gets better than this and can provide a somewhat satisfying story for those who do chose to follow it, but I hope that it ends as soon as possible and that things can move on.

UPDATE: I just found out that JMS is off both titles and other writers will be finishing the stories with his outlines. I am now even happier that I didn’t get sucked in by the hype. I read an interview with JMS about the whole thing and it really pisses me off. He talks about how he thinks long form story telling is his weak point and how he had been considering leaving monthly comics for a while now. So why on earth did he sign up for two year long runs at all? You’d think if he was worried about the format he would have turned down the assignments or at least only accepted one of them so that he could really devote his time to overcoming his weaknesses and producing something great. I understand that things come up and plans change, but this whole thing rubs me the wrong way.

Apparently the reason he’s off the books is because DC wants to fast track the next Superman: Earth One graphic novel. So in my mind DC shares some of the blame in this situation for ignoring the fans who have committed to a story and focusing on the bottom line. I understand this is business, but I think we all like to think that the companies care just a little about the fans and its sort of a slap in the face when you are reminded that they don’t.

Fan Ramblings – Wonder Woman’s new look and new direction

So, it seems that DC has decided to change Wonder Woman’s costume to go with her “bold new direction” under JM Straczynski’s pen. Announced on DC’s the Source blog, her new costume is supposed to make her feel more modern and reflect some big changes for the character.

I’m not all too thrilled about the contents of the announcement. Let me just establish that this is not a knee jerk reaction against change. Change can be good (Dick Grayson Batman, Whoop!). But their announcement was designed to generate buzz and to get people excited about the new concept. For me, it has rather failed in that regard. I don’t want to completely write off the book before it even comes out, and I certainly won’t advise anyone against getting it, but it certainly doesn’t make me want to spend my money on it (what is this strange sense of déjà vu?). I wasn’t following Wonder Woman to begin with, but I have some interest in the character, and this simply doesn’t appeal to me. With that in mind, let’s take a closer look.

Let’s start with the costume. Random side story: When I was making a bulletin board about American superheroes for my Japanese students it was difficult to find a picture of Wonder Woman that seemed appropriate. Now, Wonder Woman has some curves (not Power Girl level, but still) and I understand that the artists want to show them off. And I suppose it lets her keep a feminine aspect to her warrior like character. But her costume looked more or less like a swimsuit, and while I wasn’t really worried about “scandalizing” the kids, I was worried that the school principal might think that it was inappropriate for school. I did find some great images, but she was by far the most difficult superhero to do so for. While her look is iconic, I personally can’t argue with the idea of a bit of updating.

Overall, this new look isn’t too bad. I’m glad to see she isn’t in ridiculous heels. The pants are a nice touch (although if Supergirl got complaints for wearing shorts under her skirt, then I can only imagine what that particular group of fans will think about this…). There are still enough elements of her old costume that give her a distinctly Wonder Woman feel, although I will admit it seems more like something I could picture Donna Troy or Wondergirl wearing that Diana. It is still strongly feminine. But that jacket…it looks like something out of a 90s comic where everyone had HUGE shoulder pads. It gives her a really biker-ish look. For me it really throws the whole look off. While I have some criticisms of the outfit it isn’t a disgrace or an abomination in my eyes. It could work but it doesn’t have me clamoring for a poster or action figure or anything.

According to Mr. Straczynski the look “reflects her origins in both the outside world and the world of Amazons” (more on that later) and that “it’s a look designed to be taken seriously as a warrior.” As I just mentioned, I see a lot more biker in this costume than I do warrior. She looks like a fighter I guess, but to me that isn’t exactly the same thing as a warrior. Maybe that’s my issue. I can see her beating up thugs on the street, but it’s hard for me to picture her with, say, a sword and shield fighting a mythological beast or a god. And for me, that’s a big part of who Wondy is.

Moving on, JMS says the costume helps to answer some fan questions from over the years such as “how does she fight in that thing without all her parts falling out?” and “where does she carry anything in that outfit?” I’ll give them credit for trying the more practical route, but the whole pockets issue wasn’t keeping me up at night. If I’m willing to suspend my disbelief about Amazons existing and Greek gods and superheroes in general, I think I can live without knowing if she has pockets. She has an invisible jet; maybe her pockets are invisible too?

And then we get to the part that sent me into a fit of giggles. It was honestly hard for me to take this next part seriously. About Wondy’s trademark bracelets JMS said, “The bracelets are still there, but made more colorful, tied on the inside and over the hand, with a script W on each of them that form WW when she holds them side by side…and if you get hit by one of them, it leaves a W mark. This is a Wonder Woman who signs her work…letting her enemies know that she’s getting closer.” Oh, where to begin. The whole WW thing when held side to side made me think of something like Power Rangers or Sailor Moon with her smacking her arms together unnaturally crying out, “Wonder Woman powers activate!” It’s not like she doesn’t have a W elsewhere on her costume and really needed that to be incorporated. When I read that they leave marks my mind went back to the Phantom movie, where he punched people and left skull shaped scars. It just seems a bit campy to me to see bad guys sprawled out with a W on their forehead. And if you look at the drawing those Ws are on her wrists. So unless she is smacking people around with her forearm…ouch…then she can’t be leaving marks on them. I have no problem with how they look; it’s what he seems intent to use them for that is hard for me to take seriously.

Okay, now that we’ve taken a good look at her, let’s take a look at the reasons for this redesign. Apparently our new Wonder Woman arc begins with an alternate timeline courtesy of the Greek Gods. For reasons one assumes will be revealed down the line, the Gods have changed the timeline so that Paradise Island was no longer under their protection. It was attacked and most of the Amazons, including Hippolyta, Wondy’s mom, were killed. Three year old Diana was spirited away before the battle and raised in an urban setting. Now 20 years later she is beginning to discover her Amazon powers. She’s still on the run as the surviving Amazons are being hunted. And she has little to no memory of the pervious timeline. So Diana must fight for her survival, protect her fallen people, and probably restore the timeline by the time this is all through.

Now, when I first read this I thought that this would be a really great story…for an Earth One graphic novel version of Wonder Woman. The Earth One graphic novels are supposed to retell superhero origins in a more modern setting and are to be more accessible to new readers as they are self contained and out of continuity. So far Superman and Batman are getting this treatment. Wonder Woman would seem like an obvious character to consider for this. And honestly, this story sounds like a failed Earth One pitch to me (more modern look, discovering her powers, all new enemies, etc.). And if it was an Earth One story, I would probably have read it and actually been looking forward to it. It’s not a bad story idea; I’m just not sure how it’s going to work in the shared DC universe.

This timeline change could affect more than just Wonder Woman’s character. What about Donna Troy and Cassie Sandsmark (Wonder Girl)? Donna is in the Justice League and Cassie is central in Teen Titans. Will they suddenly not exist and never be mentioned? And let’s not forget that Wonder Woman broke the recently resurrected Maxwell Lord’s neck when he was controlling Superman. It was the only way to stop him. So does that mean that in this new timeline Maxey is still controlling Superman? Because then he should never have died which is going to wreck havoc with the Brightest Day stories. And what does this do to the JLA? Clearly Wonder Woman wasn’t a founding member since she is just now getting her powers. In fact, it sounds like no superhero should even recognize her at all. Except maybe Booster Gold.

I would imagine that this story will be rather self contained so as not to cause all of those problems listed above. It still raises a whole lot of questions as to how this could possibly work in the shared DCU. The short answer is, it really can’t without some DRASTIC changes to stories already in progress. That’s why I think it sounds better as a standalone, outside of continuity story. Which is what I seem to remember JMS saying he likes to write. That’s why he’s good at “The Brave and the Bold.” It isn’t in continuity, it can be forward in time, backward in time, it’s completely free reign. Wonder Woman can’t be without slipping into some sort of pocket dimension that separates her book from everything else going on and then catches up again once it’s finished. I think the fans could deal with that. If that is the case I’m hoping it is spelled out very clearly in the issues or else it could be very confusing.

But good or bad, I’m sure this will all only be temporary. After a year or so things will be restored to how they were because Status Quo is God. Even if people really like this change and sales go up it probably won’t last. After all, the sales of “Batman and Robin” have been top 10 since the book started, but that’s not stopping them from bringing Bruce back after just a year. I understand that Wonder Woman’s book hasn’t been selling very well and that DC felt that some sort of drastic change was needed to make her relevant and get people interested. But if you have to completely change who the character is in order to get people interested I think you are kind of missing the point. I’m not saying that’s what JMS will do. The book’s not out yet, so I can’t judge, but he is changing most of where she came from which has a great effect on the person she turned out to be. As someone on a message board pointed out, now her new origin is really reminiscent of Superman. If I was a longtime Wonder Woman reader, only to see everything that I had been following basically ignored, I would probably be pretty upset. So while they may pick up a number of new readers with this, some who have been loyal to Wondy in the past may jump ship. It’s a risky ploy.

And I am one potential new reader who won’t be jumping on board. If the reviews for the series are amazing I will consider the trade, but at the moment I’m content to let this one pass me by. And like I feared the Superman story could be, this entire premise seems to be INCREDIBLY polarizing of the fans. There are those who are outraged by it and those who are very excited about it. There are also those who want to support it just to spite those who are outraged by it (those kinds of people always confuse me). And there is the quiet middle ground of those who are unsure but perhaps cautiously optimistic. One thing is certain, the announcement of the new costume on the Source has gotten more comments than any article I’ve ever seen on the site (the Superman “Grounded" stuff got about 40 comments, as did DC entering digital comics. This Wonder Woman entry already has over 160). So if one of the goals was to get people talking (in the no publicity is bad publicity vein) then so far it’s already been a big success.